I LOVE MYSELF.
What happened when you read that?
Did you cringe?
Did you think, “ew”?
Maybe you felt a little jealous?
Or maybe you thought, “Me too!”
I really hope you thought, “Me too!”
Self love was missing for me for several years. I was floundering around in self loathing, self pity and self indulgence. I was miserable, although I tried really hard to hide it by being a good mom and devoted wife. I volunteered endlessly. I over-delivered everywhere in my life. Except for with myself.
And I resented it. All of it.
My “relaxation time” was to sit in front of the television, eating cookies and stuffing my feelings. I told myself that it made me “feel better”.
And it was a lie. Because I didn’t feel better. I was just avoiding feeling bad.
My husband would nicely suggest that I go out and see a movie, or get a mani-pedi or go shopping. He noticed that when I did this, #1 he felt better, and #2, I was a lot happier when I returned home. I resisted him when he would send me out alone. I felt guilty leaving our young son, “who needed me”. My husband was perfectly well equipped to take care of our son for an afternoon, I just wanted another excuse to feel bad.
Until I got tired of feeling bad.
So I took a class. The reason I took the class was to lose weight. I learned a lot of great stuff. I learned really good tools for weight loss. These tools had nothing to do with dieting. They were tools that took me inward, toward myself instead of away from myself. I didn’t practice the tools much right away, because I was still choosing not to love myself. I didn’t really believe in the beginning that anything would make me feel better or lose weight. But the tools were slowly working their magic on me.
After a couple classes, I noticed I was feeling better. I was understanding the tools and applying them. And then I really got to work learning, practicing and mastering these tools.
They weren’t really weight loss tools. They were self love tools.
Along the way, I started to believe in myself again. Then I fell in love with myself.
I lost weight too! That result was fun, but it wasn’t the best part.
I understand now what people mean when they say, “the answers are inside of you”.
The answers really are inside us.
But you won’t find the answers…without loving yourself first.
Now, I actively make time for myself. I practice meditation and thought work regularly. I practice giving thanks. This gives me big energy to give love and kindness to others.
How do you practice loving yourself?
Do you need some help? I have a new self guided eCourse with loads of tools you can use to get yourself going or dive deeper into love for yourself. Check it out HERE.
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Great post!!! This hits home with lots of people, especially women who feel like they have to live lives of sacrifice. I hope we all learn that that’s not the way to feel worthy or valued. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your comments Cindy. I think it’s difficult to love yourself when you’re sacrificing yourself. I hope more and more women (and men) see that this is no way to live.
I love it when I enter into a new project/class/relationship with one thing in mind and then get blown away with surprises and new self knowledge. Weight gain/loss for me, and it took me a damn long time to learn this, is about connection. When I don’t feel connected to myself or my friends and family, I want to be filled. And you’re so right. The foundation of all of that , for me anyway, is about love. Great post. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much for commenting Martha. You have a wonderful way with words – you summed it up perfectly.
This post left me with a happy *sigh* of love! It’s so good to read about your journey to self-love. Personally, I believe the lack of it is epidemic, and it’s one of the reasons I coach women. It’s taken me years to understand self-love, and the lessons keep coming!
I wholeheartedly agree Mary Ellen!
Great post for me today . . . I have lost 25 lbs since the start of the year, but have plateaued and am getting frustrated. But I realized reading this that I haven’t prioritized myself the way I did 3 months ago. And I am getting hung up in progress on the scale, but losing the enjoyment of the process. Thanks!
Isn’t it interesting Mindy? I’ve noticed that when my weight starts to creep up, it’s usually because I’ve stopped paying attention to myself. Glad this was helpful!
Mindy- I mean I’ve stopped paying positive attention to me.
Oooh, Katie, you had me at “I love myself.” I just LOVE this post! Just what I needed to hear today! xo
Hi An! Thanks so much. And so glad it spoke to you. xo, Katie
It’s so true — it all starts with loving (or at the very least, respecting) ourselves!
Yes, I agree. I read my own post when I need a reminder sometimes!
Katie great post! You are so right the answers do lie within ourselves. You first have to learn to love yourself so others can love you back. How I practice loving myself – I make sure I schedule dates with good ole me (a mani/pedi, massage, movies, MNO, or a simple trip to my local Starbucks coffee shop). This totally re-energizes me.
Thanks for sharing your ways of loving yourself Yvette. It’s a practice I’m still developing. So glad you’ve found practices that energize you!
Ten years ago I took a class called “Love Yourself for Everyone Else’s Sake,” with the whole premise being that people would be curious about the title and/or that they would consider the idea of loving themselves if it was good for everyone else. Many people, especially woman, believe we come last; this class this whole notion upside down. It was such a good class that I even took it twice! ⤠Blaze
Blaze- That’s an interesting name for a class! I would have liked to sit in on that.
Yikes, Katie! That was a little painful! But also thought (and heart) provoking. You’re wonderful.
Thank you for reading Bridgid. You are wonderful too and I miss seeing you! Hope that beautiful family of yours is thriving. xoxo
I said “Me too!” But it wasn’t always that way. For me, it was taking yoga and meditation to “calm down” from my stressful work. That opened up everything. Because I didn’t need to calm down. What I needed was to take deep care of myself… breathing and stretching unleashed a mini-revolution in me. Now it’s mission-critical to love me first… from special treats to good nutrition and exercise to quiet time to getting very clear on what I need and want and giving it to myself.
Yay Sally! I love that you said me too. Thanks for sharing the ways you take care of yourself.
After a lifetime of sacrificing myself in order to meet everyone else’s needs, in the last two years I have moved more into the land of self-love – and it has made the world around me – for myself and the people that I love – so much richer.
Thank you for the reminder!
Oh, I love the way you put that Debra: “and it has made the world around me – for myself and the people that I love – so much richer.” Beautiful. It’s wonderful to meet so many others who are loving themselves first.