When I was 37, I had my son.
Having him was a difficult process. Infertility, many miscarriages, a broken pinky toe with giant swollen foot and complications. I felt lots of sadness, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy…until he was born.
I got an angel. A healthy baby boy. Joy.
After he was born, we tried to have another child.
Same story as the first.
More sadness. I started feeling like a giant loser.
Why me? What was I doing wrong? What I had done wrong in my past to create this?
Have you ever asked yourself a question like this?
What did I do wrong in the past that brought me this punishment today?
When you ask yourself this kind of question, you get a whole lot of crappy answers. When you ask yourself any question in your mind or out loud, your brain answers it whether you realize it or not. The answers to crappy questions, get you crappy thoughts and feelings.
You are asking yourself questions every day.
Here are some examples of what you might be asking yourself (or may have asked in the past).
Why is having a baby so difficult for me?
Why can’t I lose weight?
What is my problem?
Why didn’t I do better with ______?
When will my life be better?
Why doesn’t my kid behave?
What questions are you asking yourself?
I encourage you to take a minute and notice. Write down your questions. If they are anything like what I’ve listed above, change your questions.
How will know if the questions you’ve listed are not powerful? Intentionally answer them and then check in with your body to see how you feel.
If the answers to your questions make you feel awful, then you are asking the wrong question.
When you ask yourself a powerful, positive question like, “How can I make losing weight fun?”, your answer comes as a thought that feels good. We are mostly not aware of the answers, but when you are intentionally asking great questions:
Your brain is busy helping you create powerful answers.
These powerful answers that your brain creates, help you get a life full of amazing results.
Below are more of the crappy question examples from above + ideas for how to turn them into more powerful questions.
Crappy Question: Why is having a baby so difficult for me?
New & Improved: What am I learning about myself in this baby making process?
Crappy Question: What is my problem?
New & Improved: What is great about me?
Crappy Question: Why didn’t I do better with ______?
New & Improved: How can I improve in this area?
Crappy Question: When will my life be better?
New & Improved: What is perfect about my life today?
Crappy Question: Why doesn’t my kid behave?New & Improved: How can I support my kid’s strengths?
Start your day by asking yourself a better question and you will be amazed at the life you create and how easy it starts to feel. Here’s an new idea for that first question:
Crappy Question: What did I do wrong in the past that brought me this punishment today?
New & Improved: How is my current circumstance a gift to me and others?
Tell me your powerful questions in the comments: please and thank you!
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