The Good, Bad, Ugly of Expectations

Today, I talk about expectations. Expectations can be good or bad. I share a couple stories of expectations I’ve had that caused me various kinds of angst.

Here are the definitions of Expectation I was working with in this broadcast:

  • a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
  • a belief that someone will or should achieve something.
  • something looked forward to, whether feared or hoped for;
  • an attitude of expectancy or hope;

Watch to learn how to notice your expectations and what to do about the ones causing you discomfort.

Then watch the next really quick video after this one where I share the best part of expectations! Read on with more tips for dealing with sticky expectations.

How to Know if Your Expectations are an Issue and What to DO about it:

  • When you’re irritated or annoyed by someone, you might have an expectation that’s not being met. Ask yourself, “What am I expecting to happen (not happen, change, etc.)?”
  • If you find an expectation or belief that’s causing you discomfort:
    • Ask yourself: “Do I need to keep this expectation?” or “Can I soften this expectation in any way?”
    • If you can drop the expectation, or soften it in some way, do that.
    • If you want to keep the expectation, consider other ways to keep yourself calm when this expectation is not met. It might be simply offering some kindness to yourself in the face of the feelings that come up.
  • The best kind of expectation are those that call us to hope for or expect the best of someone. We may need to work on clearing up the expectations we have for ourself before we can create the spaciousness needed to be hopeful and positively expectant for another. What expectations do you have for yourself that are causing you discomfort or emotional pain? Do the necessary work to clear out any unnecessary expectations you might be holding for yourself. Offer yourself kindness and love for any stubborn expectations you’re having trouble letting go of.

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